Chapter
10
Stop Concentrating on What You Don't Want!
A Realist's Guide to Positive Thinking
Positive thinking is one of the most misunderstood concepts in the mind-body repertoire. Skeptics grimace at the thought of obnoxiously smiley, mindlessly unrealistic Pollyannas, always looking on the bright side. For the idealistically hopeful, the idea conjures visions of effortless magic—the ability to obtain love, health, fame, and fortune without making any effort or leaving the safety and comfort of home.
While reason should lead even skeptics to the conclusion that constructive things happen more reliably than unconstructive or the world would cease to exist, reason would also advise the idealists that action must follow thought, or thoughts do not become realized. And the reasonable approach to using the powerful tool of positive thinking for personal change is, as usual, somewhere between the extremes envisioned by the skeptic and the idealist.
The passive popular version of repetitious positive thinking is very different from an intelligent, pragmatically optimistic approach to life’s challenges. The practical approach not only imagines success, but also includes taking action toward achieving the desired goals, and persisting in the face of setbacks that can be part of any program of pragmatic positivity.
In order to make positive thinking work for you, you need to become aware of and change conflicting, unconstructive beliefs that can contradict and obstruct your projected optimism. For example, fear of the demands and responsibilities of being able-bodied are often experienced by individuals with long-standing disabling symptoms, effectively canceling out their desire to get well.
It is also important to make a habit of practicing optimism in your expectations for those close to you, because you are always conveying unspoken attitudes about others that either reinforce their unhealthy assumptions about themselves or support their well- being.
There are scientifically proven health benefits to be gained from breaking the habits of pessimism, fear, and worry, and learning to practice a realistic optimism. An "expect the worst, you won’t be disappointed" perspective keeps body alarm systems in a constant, wearing jangle, as well as blinding you to life’s opportunities. A realistic optimism appears to calm physical systems by promoting what science has noted to be the health-enhancing attitudes of control, commitment, and challenge.