The Shift Diaries

Anne tells me:

Two years ago, Elias said I was on the threshold.  In my latest session earlier this month, he said I was also on the threshold.  Well, I’ve been standing on that damn threshold for what feels like forever — when am I just gonna jump already! Gotta laugh. 

We must both be on that same old threshold and it is getting a bit dull just standing here–don’t ya think. 

Anne on the threshold:

I LIVE on that threshold! I’ve set up SHOP on that threshold! That threshold has its own ZIP CODE! In my life, I call that threshold LIMBO.

But don’t you think that every time we have those aha! moments or days where we feel filled with ecstasy and rightness, we’ve stepped over the threshold? Every time we catch ourselves forcing energy and make a choice to stop it, we’ve stepped over that threshold. I think what we’re working at is not just crossing the threshold, because by now I think we’ve done that many times. It seems to me that our challenge now is to get to a point where we no longer just pop over to the other side and then dart back to cling to the familiar. It seems to me that the real goal is to get to the point where the other side this threshold becomes familiar enough that we’ve developed new automatic responses, like I did by practicing those eating guidelines I developed. All it takes is practice, practice, practice—simple, but not easy, of course. Yet what has also become clear to me is that it’s not about getting all the practice perfected. It’s really about getting completely clear about which side of the threshold is the side we prefer to be on—which side we trust to work in everyday life.

Anne tells me:

I set up reminders in my calender that ring out various messages.  That was amazing! If your computer doesn’t have a built in calendar program like Works or Outlook, then Yahoo has a calendar you can use.  It will send you emails of your reminders and I have my email notification to chime loud and clear at me. 

Anyway—my reminders were things like: APPRECIATE something, Bring your attention to the now, turn your attention to abundance, turn your attention to something you’ve accomplished and acknowledge, let go.

It’s brilliant!  Talk about a brilliant interruption!  I set it up as recurring notices 5 times a day every day for the next month.

The first chime I received, I noticed how much I was pushing myself and it interrupted that immediately and brought my attention immediately to the now.

What a good idea to use those reminders for the purpose of remembering how you want to express energy! I’ve actually thought I should hang a little laminated note to myself around my neck, so that when I’m feeling all crossways of the universe, I could pick it up and remind myself to shift my attention. “Accept manifestation as information!” “Make the least conflicting choice!” “Attention in the present and on yourself!” “RELAX!!!” “Appreciate!”

Here’s how my impulsive/don’t wanna morning went:

I didn’t want to do the bio, so I e-mailed you instead. Then, since I was feeling kind of sickish, I thought maybe I’d get back into my neatly made bed and read for a while, but just as I turned in that direction, my attention was caught by something else. So, I cleaned a toilet in one bathroom, then cleaned a sink, laundered a bunch of things, and went out into the cold, damp morning to take down a blue extension cord that was interfering with my view. It had been left by the previous owner and I’d been looking at it for four months, wishing I would deal with it, and suddenly, I did. Then I planted a heap of bulbs someone had given me that had been left on the front porch for about a month, looking hideous and messy. I kept wishing I’d deal with them, and suddenly, I did. Then I cleaned up all the things I’d left in the kitchen sink. I went from one thing to the next without thought or plan.

Now, one of my sisters and I joke about doing this kind of thing when an unwanted task is pressing. We call it Productive Procrastination. Whatever it is, it works great to get my energy moving. I’m still feeling a bit sick, which I’m taking as communication from the subjective that I was starting to push myself and ramp up my energy in those old familiar forcing patterns. Last week was unusually busy and social and this whole issue of “what am I going to do about money?” was looming (I was looming it, to be precise), and I could feel myself cranking up in a way I’d prefer not doing. For a common to pull off living like an intermediate [Anne is intermediate; I’m common], which is basically what I’ve been trying to do for the past several years, we sometimes have to come up with inhibiting mechanisms (like illness) to shift our attention back to self where we want to keep it, since we constantly have to fight the common assumption that it’s WRONG and BAD and ISOLATING to stay so focused upon ourselves. I don’t seem to care that it might be considered SELFISH, but maybe I’m in denial in that area. Or maybe I’m so isolated there’s no longer anyone who might experience me as selfish.

On the conscious consumption subject, I’ve often thought about the idea that there are two paths to enlightenment (traditionally). On one, the seeker of truth denies himself all the temptations of the material world. On the other, the seeker allows himself everything, preferably consciously. My preference is the path of indulgence. I came of age in the 60s (I started college in 1965) which allowed me to follow that path easily (although not consciously at that point). For years, I had sex with many, many, many men for any/every/no reason (mainly out of curiosity). I took all the drugs available at the time (same reason). And at one point I took speed (my favorite drug) every day for six months because it made me feel superb. But then, one morning as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, ready to put the day’s pill in my mouth, I looked at myself and thought, “You are going to feel like shit in eight hours.” I put the pill down and never took speed again. When I drank, I discovered I could tell during the evening at what point I was on the edge of consuming an amount of alcohol that would leave me hung-over, and I learned to stop drinking before I reached that point.

I’m finding that this manipulation of energy thing requires similar skills of attention and choice, so it’s not like I’m on totally unfamiliar ground, but the tricky part for me is recognizing my automatic responses and then actually choosing differently. Or recognizing that bad things are not going to happen simply because I choose differently.
It seemed fairly straightforward to make a project out of eating consciously because eating was a discreet activity and I didn’t express many beliefs about eating “properly.” I could make plans about eating and think them through and implement them relatively easily. My list of rules for how to eat consciously was short and succinct. It was challenging because it was unfamiliar, but I experienced changes in my relationship to food within a few weeks. After that, it was only a matter of persisting until the unfamiliar became the new habit—that took about a year of dedicatedly following my new way of being in regard to eating. This business of manipulating energy—of recognizing when you’re doing things that won’t feel good and choosing differently—seems so ephemeral and slippery in comparison to the food program. I didn’t forget I was practicing this new way of eating, but I seem to repeatedly forget what I’m trying to do with this new way of living.

For me, Abraham’s way of expressing this information is so simple to remember and apply that it’s become my compass: go toward what feels better/good. And, now that I think of it, it’s about the same as the conscious consumption rules, so I’ll translate the Shifty advice into steps that parallel my eating guidelines:

1. Act only when you feel moved to. (Pay attention to communications/be in the present/keep attention on self)
2. Do exactly what you feel moved to do. Do not do anything because you think you SHOULD. (No conflict rule/do what you prefer/go toward what feels good to you.)
3. Focus completely on what you’ve chosen to do. (Be in the present/attention on self/allow your natural expression of energy to flow.)
4. Savor what you’ve chosen. (Appreciate/acknowledge)
5. Stop when you’re satisfied. (Notice communications/be in the present/attention on self)

I’ve been thinking about writing “The Shift Diaries.” I’m feeling around for a writing venue that will amuse me, be useful to others, and seem like play. My motivation is to have fun producing something that leads to generating incomel. I was working on a book (outline on the website), but came to a halt because it became nothing but an energy forcing struggle. This is the first mention I’ve made of “The Shift Diaries” to an actual human. Except for e-mail, I seem to have zero inclination to write anything at all. Perhaps I’ll have to write to you for a year and then excerpt the book out of what I say in the e-mail. That could be a way of tricking myself into writing effortlessly.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 9th, 2006 at 10:47 am and is filed under E-mail to Anne K.. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Anne tells me:

Two years ago, Elias said I was on the threshold.  In my latest session earlier this month, he said I was also on the threshold.  Well, I’ve been standing on that damn threshold for what feels like forever — when am I just gonna jump already! Gotta laugh. 

We must both be on that same old threshold and it is getting a bit dull just standing here–don’t ya think. 

Anne on the threshold:

I LIVE on that threshold! I’ve set up SHOP on that threshold! That threshold has its own ZIP CODE! In my life, I call that threshold LIMBO.

But don’t you think that every time we have those aha! moments or days where we feel filled with ecstasy and rightness, we’ve stepped over the threshold? Every time we catch ourselves forcing energy and make a choice to stop it, we’ve stepped over that threshold. I think what we’re working at is not just crossing the threshold, because by now I think we’ve done that many times. It seems to me that our challenge now is to get to a point where we no longer just pop over to the other side and then dart back to cling to the familiar. It seems to me that the real goal is to get to the point where the other side this threshold becomes familiar enough that we’ve developed new automatic responses, like I did by practicing those eating guidelines I developed. All it takes is practice, practice, practice—simple, but not easy, of course. Yet what has also become clear to me is that it’s not about getting all the practice perfected. It’s really about getting completely clear about which side of the threshold is the side we prefer to be on—which side we trust to work in everyday life.

Anne tells me:

I set up reminders in my calender that ring out various messages.  That was amazing! If your computer doesn’t have a built in calendar program like Works or Outlook, then Yahoo has a calendar you can use.  It will send you emails of your reminders and I have my email notification to chime loud and clear at me. 

Anyway—my reminders were things like: APPRECIATE something, Bring your attention to the now, turn your attention to abundance, turn your attention to something you’ve accomplished and acknowledge, let go.

It’s brilliant!  Talk about a brilliant interruption!  I set it up as recurring notices 5 times a day every day for the next month.

The first chime I received, I noticed how much I was pushing myself and it interrupted that immediately and brought my attention immediately to the now.

What a good idea to use those reminders for the purpose of remembering how you want to express energy! I’ve actually thought I should hang a little laminated note to myself around my neck, so that when I’m feeling all crossways of the universe, I could pick it up and remind myself to shift my attention. “Accept manifestation as information!” “Make the least conflicting choice!” “Attention in the present and on yourself!” “RELAX!!!” “Appreciate!”

Here’s how my impulsive/don’t wanna morning went:

I didn’t want to do the bio, so I e-mailed you instead. Then, since I was feeling kind of sickish, I thought maybe I’d get back into my neatly made bed and read for a while, but just as I turned in that direction, my attention was caught by something else. So, I cleaned a toilet in one bathroom, then cleaned a sink, laundered a bunch of things, and went out into the cold, damp morning to take down a blue extension cord that was interfering with my view. It had been left by the previous owner and I’d been looking at it for four months, wishing I would deal with it, and suddenly, I did. Then I planted a heap of bulbs someone had given me that had been left on the front porch for about a month, looking hideous and messy. I kept wishing I’d deal with them, and suddenly, I did. Then I cleaned up all the things I’d left in the kitchen sink. I went from one thing to the next without thought or plan.

Now, one of my sisters and I joke about doing this kind of thing when an unwanted task is pressing. We call it Productive Procrastination. Whatever it is, it works great to get my energy moving. I’m still feeling a bit sick, which I’m taking as communication from the subjective that I was starting to push myself and ramp up my energy in those old familiar forcing patterns. Last week was unusually busy and social and this whole issue of “what am I going to do about money?” was looming (I was looming it, to be precise), and I could feel myself cranking up in a way I’d prefer not doing. For a common to pull off living like an intermediate [Anne is intermediate; I’m common], which is basically what I’ve been trying to do for the past several years, we sometimes have to come up with inhibiting mechanisms (like illness) to shift our attention back to self where we want to keep it, since we constantly have to fight the common assumption that it’s WRONG and BAD and ISOLATING to stay so focused upon ourselves. I don’t seem to care that it might be considered SELFISH, but maybe I’m in denial in that area. Or maybe I’m so isolated there’s no longer anyone who might experience me as selfish.

On the conscious consumption subject, I’ve often thought about the idea that there are two paths to enlightenment (traditionally). On one, the seeker of truth denies himself all the temptations of the material world. On the other, the seeker allows himself everything, preferably consciously. My preference is the path of indulgence. I came of age in the 60s (I started college in 1965) which allowed me to follow that path easily (although not consciously at that point). For years, I had sex with many, many, many men for any/every/no reason (mainly out of curiosity). I took all the drugs available at the time (same reason). And at one point I took speed (my favorite drug) every day for six months because it made me feel superb. But then, one morning as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, ready to put the day’s pill in my mouth, I looked at myself and thought, “You are going to feel like shit in eight hours.” I put the pill down and never took speed again. When I drank, I discovered I could tell during the evening at what point I was on the edge of consuming an amount of alcohol that would leave me hung-over, and I learned to stop drinking before I reached that point.

I’m finding that this manipulation of energy thing requires similar skills of attention and choice, so it’s not like I’m on totally unfamiliar ground, but the tricky part for me is recognizing my automatic responses and then actually choosing differently. Or recognizing that bad things are not going to happen simply because I choose differently.
It seemed fairly straightforward to make a project out of eating consciously because eating was a discreet activity and I didn’t express many beliefs about eating “properly.” I could make plans about eating and think them through and implement them relatively easily. My list of rules for how to eat consciously was short and succinct. It was challenging because it was unfamiliar, but I experienced changes in my relationship to food within a few weeks. After that, it was only a matter of persisting until the unfamiliar became the new habit—that took about a year of dedicatedly following my new way of being in regard to eating. This business of manipulating energy—of recognizing when you’re doing things that won’t feel good and choosing differently—seems so ephemeral and slippery in comparison to the food program. I didn’t forget I was practicing this new way of eating, but I seem to repeatedly forget what I’m trying to do with this new way of living.

For me, Abraham’s way of expressing this information is so simple to remember and apply that it’s become my compass: go toward what feels better/good. And, now that I think of it, it’s about the same as the conscious consumption rules, so I’ll translate the Shifty advice into steps that parallel my eating guidelines:

1. Act only when you feel moved to. (Pay attention to communications/be in the present/keep attention on self)
2. Do exactly what you feel moved to do. Do not do anything because you think you SHOULD. (No conflict rule/do what you prefer/go toward what feels good to you.)
3. Focus completely on what you’ve chosen to do. (Be in the present/attention on self/allow your natural expression of energy to flow.)
4. Savor what you’ve chosen. (Appreciate/acknowledge)
5. Stop when you’re satisfied. (Notice communications/be in the present/attention on self)

I’ve been thinking about writing “The Shift Diaries.” I’m feeling around for a writing venue that will amuse me, be useful to others, and seem like play. My motivation is to have fun producing something that leads to generating incomel. I was working on a book (outline on the website), but came to a halt because it became nothing but an energy forcing struggle. This is the first mention I’ve made of “The Shift Diaries” to an actual human. Except for e-mail, I seem to have zero inclination to write anything at all. Perhaps I’ll have to write to you for a year and then excerpt the book out of what I say in the e-mail. That could be a way of tricking myself into writing effortlessly.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 9th, 2006 at 10:47 am and is filed under E-mail to Anne K.. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.